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Be Nice Campaign
- You know how to say "mozzarella," "scungilli," "cavatelli," and "lasagne" properly, like an Italian- not a midwesterner - whether you're Italian or not.
- Not flagging a cab that has either no lights or only the off duty lights on (although some off duty cabs will take you if you’re going their way)
- There’s NO LINE to get on a public bus. It’s just like the train; every man for himself, get on and get a seat.
- Houston Street; pronounced how-stuyn, not hyoo-stuyn like in Texas.
Heather – Stuyvesant 1989
New Yorkers are a driven breed. When walking down the sidewalk, a native New Yorker looks straight ahead, and always walks as if they are already 30 minutes late for an appointment. We don't enjoy being stopped by tourists to ask for directions or anything else that might slow our pace. Ironically, we will often maintain this composure even if we ourselves are completely lost.
Greg A. - PS 59, JHS 104, Stuyvesant HS
it makes me CRAZY when transplants call the subway line by the color, ie. "take the green line to my apartment on the lower east side, which my parents pay for. Don't worry, it's totally safe, everyone in my buiding's from suburban Atlanta."
1.Squats- black squirrels with not as much hair as a squirrel...and long skinny tails. They used to be VERY prominat in the Museum of Natural History park. They are the result of a rat and a squirrel mating.
2. I stil cannot eat in the very popular Boat Basin Cafe becasue it is known in my family as the Wee Wee Cafe. In the 80s and early 90's it was the home for several cardboard box homless who would also pee everywhere. They can dress it up with as many lights as they like...it's the Wee Wee Cafe.
Samantha Jones (formerly Lally)
real oldtime new yorkers dont tend to wear flashy jewlery or watches whille traveling to Parks or walking on streets. Many would slip watches into pockets. Old habits die hard when it wasn't such a safe place to live way back when.
Walking slow on the sidewalk is always a clue that someone is from out of town. Looking up at buildings while walking is another one; New Yorker's know what's up there, we don't have to look.
Real New Yorkers do not turn around when someone starts a loud, lunatic rant on the subway; we ignore them. We also do not turn around when someone starts a fight on the street; we quickly and anonymously walk away, because you never know who's carrying what weapon on them.
Real New Yorkers have more than one lock on their doors. Also, you can always tell a native college dormer apart from an out-of-towner, because the New Yorker will always lock their door, while the non-native will simply walk into the hall without thinking about it.
People who actually wait for the light to turn red: Not New Yorkers.
Children under 15 riding the subway alone: New Yorkers.
People who plan what end of the train they need to be in: New Yorkers
the best tip i have for no-nyers to blend is to step off the curb when waiting for a light to change. i'm not saying you have to cross against the light (which i do more often than i should), but you do have to get yourself to the car line.
It's not only how you order a slice, but how you eat it. It must be folded in half width-wise (across the crust). And don't forget to pour off the excess oil from the slice onto the tissue paper/napkin.
Refer to Manhattan as "the city" - I'm a native Brooklynite, but outer boroughs are never referred to as "the city"
Native new yorkers only eat hand-rolled bagels....you can tell a factory made bagel by their perfect roundness the braille-like bumps on the bottom
When crossing the street, don't pay any attention to the "walk/don't walk" sign, rather, watch the traffic light as it turns from yellow to red, then take your FIRST step to cross the street as soon as this happens to be ahead of the pack of out of towners who are only watching the "walk/don't walk" sign!
Lorina Pellach (PS 8, JHS 141, Kennedy HS)
The street name Houston confuses many people from outside of New York (invariably becoming one of the easiest signs of spotting tourists) because the letters "ou" are pronounced as in the word house (pronounced /?ha?st?n/), whereas the same letters in the name of the city of Houston, Texas are pronounced like the "u" in huge (pronounced /?ha?st?n/), whereas the same letters in the name of the city of Houston, Texas are pronounced like the "u" in huge (pronounced /?hju?st?n/ or /?ju?st?n/ "HYOO-stin"}}). This is because Houston Street was named for William Houstoun (note that the spelling is different), long before the fame of Sam Houston, for whom the city in Texas is named. Some people mistakenly believe that the pronunciation was popularized by the accents of local Jewish immigrants.
7 Tips on how not to look like a tourist1) NO FANNY PACKS
2) Do not walk four across
3) Do not stand on the corner in the flow of traffic and stare confused at a map
4) Walking slowly is fine, just not during the AM, lunch and PM rush
5) Do no stop suddenly and look up amazed that there is a tall building there
6) Do not eat at (in no particular order)
7) Shop at any "Going out of Business" stores on 5th Avenue - They smell tourists coming
Wrap your purse handle around your wrist while on the train - this ensures safe and optimal subway sleeping.
Always make sure to grab coffee early from street carts/vendors. Its stronger and cheaper than chain stores, and always freshest first thing in the a.m.
If you must drive out at night, the best parking spots are on the outer streets (Ave C, 9th Ave are best!)
Fill up on pay-per-ride Metrocards all at once. You know you'll use it again at some point, and you get the best discount with larger purchases.
Check in with Broadway theaters at the last minute for Standing Room capacity. If someone fails to show up, you are given their seat.
Many neighborhood bakeries will sell bread and pastries at half off toward the end of the day. You can also haggle for this!
- Annemarie Dooling
If you want to appear to be an old-school native, ask the bus driver for an "add-a-ride" if you want to transfer to another bus.
Call the 'L" train the LL.
Barbara Thau, Music & Art high school, now known as Laguardia High School of Music & Art.
A true New Yorker, when ordering something at a counter, starts off with the word “lemmegetta”. As in, “Lemmegetta tuna on rye”, or in the example the reporter mentioned, “Lemmegetta slice.”
Or, there’s also the indecisive variation: “Lemmegettaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa….”
-Ed H. , Brooklyn
Calling a "fire hydrant" (whatever THAT is) a Johnny Pump.
Knowing what an Egg Cream and a Charlotte Rousse is (although I may not know how to spell the latter).
Not only knowing what "IRT", "IND", and "BMT" stand for, but knowing which line is which. That goes for the Sea Beach and Culver Lines, too. And NEVER NEVER NEVER referring to the 7th Avenue IRT as "the red line."
Park Slope native Anthony Bellov (Cardinal Spellman HS, Bronx)
Here are the hints from my family (as my son makes it the fourth generation of New Yorkers for us):
We are never "native New Yorkers". We are from the City and there is only one.
Alexandra Davis (Stuyvesant, 1990)
-- Do not stop to talk to, take pictures of, or feed any squirrels unless you are an 80 year old native New Yorker. They are not cute, they are not little dogs, they are very dangerous rodents.
-- Don't say things like " oh man, sometimes you really just gotta get out of the city" , or " Yeah, I've been here over 4 years" ... as though you have been here long enough to need a break or be sick of it.
-- Avoid posting photo albums of you and your new friends drinking cocktails on facebook with comments like "living it up in the big apple!!" or "we've made it girls!" and definitely not " this is soooo sex and the city"
-Jenny (PS 40, JHS 104, Stuyvesant HS, Friends Seminary)
A New Yorker never waits on line for a cupcake.
1) Walking quickly and humorlessly through Times Square - without looking up.
2) Jaywalking on demand and without apology.
3) Being terrified to be in Central Park at night- no matter how "safe" it has supposedly become.
4) Having never actually met a Republican.
Learn how to "steer on foot" -- meaning, learn how to navigate crowded streets and subway platforms strategically. You can tell real New Yorkers by the way we cut in and out smoothly and quickly among people and vehicles. We anticipate what's ahead (i.e., clueless cell talker, group of tourists, panhandler) and prepare in advance to avoid it. We're always aware of what's behind and to the sides of us, too, and move accordingly. We get impatient with people who don’t have the common sense to either keep it moving or get the hell out of the way.
Another think: Get to know the 5 boroughs, and appreciate that NYC goes far beyond Manhattan and nouveau-hip Brooklyn and Queens neighborhoods
Last. feel like NYC -- everything about it-- is part of your DNA and a big part of your being.
- In the event you are in Times Square (for theatre, otherwise why be there) know exactly which subway entrance will put you closest to your train
- The "hot buttered bagel" from your local deli is a sublime late night food
- Never order the lox bagel at a diner other than in NYC, the lox will usually be inferior and overpriced (though its still overpriced here)
- Never eat at an Olive Garden anywhere, especially in the City
- Learn conversational spanish by listening to teenagers and reading advertisements on the subway
- Volunteering at a soup kitchen during the holidays reminds anyone that New York is not a city solely comprised of yuppies and rich old people
- Complain that Palladium used to be a club not an NYU dorm
- Quarter-waters are neon crack
Here are my do's and don'ts for transplants acting like natives.
DON'T: EVER refer to NYC as "the Big Apple"
DO: at least pretend to know where the 4 outer boroughs are even if you have no idea and DON'T ever say, "Is Queens part of New York City?"
DON'T: stand still on the left hand lane of escalators in the subway. All NYC natives know the unwritten rule that this is the passing lane and we've got places to be!
DON'T: get onto a subway car and stand directly in front of/with your back to the door. Move all the way in! It's not all about you, Oklahoma!
DO: always wear your "subway face" (mean expression) on the subway - esp. late at night. Or - dance on the platform when you're alone/there's no music. No one will mess with you.
DON'T: form a line to wait for a train/bus. Stand back and then push your way through to get on.
DO: completely overdress to do chores and/or cop an attitude for no apparent reason. We're the coolest people on earth. We don't need a reason.
DON'T: refer to NYC as "New York." (New York is the name of a state). People from upstate NY do that. Dead giveaway.
Antonia Russo, LAG HS
-never actually wait for the light to change at a crosswalk. instead, look for the yellow light flashing at the cars you are waiting to stop
-never stand on the sidewalk when waiting to cross the street. go out until you are within 6 inches of the cars. this is because you have been dealing with traffic on your own since you were 5.
-have a good supply of curse words handy in any situation when someone accosts you or acts aggressively toward you in the street. Begin with a barrage of the obvious ones, and reply to any of his or her verbiage with the debate-ending word "loser," said with a disparaging sneer. Not that you dislike the person, it's just a good opportunity to vent.
-never wait until the train stops to get up to leave the train. you sense instictively when you are ten seconds away and arise at that time. saves time, and we all know time is money
-never go out Thurs-Sat. that's amateur hour. go out Sun-Weds only
-choose your cab drivers from afar based on how they drive and your instinct, passing some up if they don't meet your approval. it's like what picking fruit would be like if we lived in the country. some apples are good, other too mushy. if necessary, point to the one you want. ignore the honkings of the bewildered driver who has been passed up
-always look vaguely pissed off and dangerous, if possible, even on happy days. looking happy on the street makes you look like a tourist, and makes you a target
-never give money to bums. that could be you one day (what with the rents you pay) and you know it. also, you've been burned too many times
-never stop to answer a questionnaire, sign a petition or so anything else like that, unless it involves someone you are attracted to. make snarky comments at anyone who asks you to interrupt your pace for any reason, which brings us to the essential...
-walk QUICKLY, and keep to the right side of the sidewalk (and get irritated at the 90 percent of people you encounter who don't follow this rule)
-mention how boring New York is and how you don't know why you stay
-have no knowledge about the surrounding states and upstate NY geography
-never state that you love New York because of all the energy
-don't call it "New York City" or "Manhattan"-- it's "The City." Everywhere outside NY, including NY suburbs and other US cities is "The Country"
-when in doubt, taking every comment as a personal attack
Real New Yorkers:
Never order (or admit to considering) a blueberry or asiago cheese bagel.
Nancy (PS 87, IS 44, Horace Mann)
Saying "the 104" and not" the 104 bus"
GREGORY GREENBERG'S THREE CARDINAL RULES FOR PASSING AS A TRUE NEW YORKER
Check the day's weather on NY1 -- even though your window's just two feet away.
Know the names of everybody at your local coffee shop. (Hi, Natasha, Tony and Italo at the Key West Diner & Cafe!)
Accept the fact that Duane Reade, whether at 4 p.m. or 4 a.m., will always make you wait for a cashier.
the native jaywalk. This is an oldie but goodie. Everyone knows that New Yorkers jaywalk, but what they miss are the particulars. First, natives never actually wait on the corner to cross-- they stand in the street, just off the curb. Second, whenever possible natives skip the corner altogether. Satisfaction is derived from even a few degrees of diagonal bisection. Third -- and this is critical -- natives jaywalk with unhurried nonchalance. Even in the face of mortal danger. Or rather, especially in the face of mortal danger. Challenges to native jaywalkers include technology (see "crossing while blackberrying") and travel (I've been ticketed in LA, stared down in DC, and left for dead in London).
Georgia Levenson Keohane
"6th Avenue," not "Avenue of the Americas"
Been away for 9 years, so that's what I got. Hope something works.
Keep moving - for god's sake - at the bottom (or top) of escalators, when you are in a hallway, once you push through the turnstile, when you have to make a really really good point - in general any time people are behind you, keep moving. If you need to stop and figure out where you are then pull over to the side like you would do if you were driving.
Also, don't call don't call the subway the train, as in - take the C train. Just take the C.
Jessica, Bronx Science
Well, we always stand on line (not in line) and we ask for change of a dollar (not for a dollar).
Tips to passing as a native new yorker:
-walking w/your head down, only tourists look up
Peace, (that's another 1, let the long island kids say "good bye" while the city kids say "peace and check you later"
Ezra Wine, fashion designer born and raised in soho.
Now thats a city kid education! And all public schools...
A real New Yorker never takes the newspaper from the top of the pile.
questions like where you went to high school upon first meeting someone signal true New Yorkers. (I personally hate when people announce themsleves as a new yorker and when you ask them where they went to high school they say upstate.
also- if you went to public school, many guys of a certain age have a graf name so "what you write" is a good greeting oin some circles.
real new yorkers never acknowldge famous people because we're used to seeing them and we're a bit famous too..so even if we are sitting next to Brad Pitt we dont blink.
When walking across the street against the light or jaywalking you actually have to pay attention to traffic. Native New Yorkers make it look like we don't pay attention but we do.
When someone holds a door for you say thank you. New Yorkers always say thanks and your welcome.
New Yorkers walk on the right side especially on subway stairs.
Refer to your subway line by the old letters IND, IRT, BMT
Stop trying so hard and get over yerselves!!
THAT's how to pass for a native NYer.
Ooh, one other tip: don't EVER giggle when the subway has a jolting start, causing you or your companions to lose balance and stumble slightly.
When giving directions, a native New Yorker -- unlike people in the rest of the country -- never, ever specifies distances in "traffic lights."
When someone begins a story by saying, "I was walking along Broadway..." a native New Yorker will stop him and ask, "What borough?" (Yes, each borough has a Broadway.)
A native New Yorker finds the phrase "chocolate egg cream" redundant.
A native New Yorker knows that a Coney Island whitefish is not something they sell at Zabar's.
A native New Yorker knows that if you're heading south on the FDR with the intention of taking the Brooklyn Bridge, and traffic is bad, you do NOT stay on to the Brooklyn Bridge exit -- where all the non-natives will be backed up. You get off at the exit before, drive along South St., make a fast right at Wagner Pl., a quick left at Rose/Gold St. and an immediate right, up the bridge entrance ramp.
A native New Yorker knows that Elaine on Seinfeld was right: Nobody beats the Van Wyck.
Maybe a tip to pass as a native is to frequent Blimpie's and not Subway!
Scowl when going to work in the morning. Furrow thy brow, I say.
Rush (Allen-Stevenson, Town School)
Tips: 1) take off your damn backpack off whenever on public transportation; 2) turn your fat ass to the side when the subway doors open; 3) always walk to the right; and 4) when in a group: don't hog up the sidewalk.
Choosing the subway door that opens to leave you at the station exit
saying excuse me in a tone that means get out of my way
not recognizing the word no as an answer to a request: rewording the request or asking someone else
not wearing clothes patterned with checks
eating while walking on the street
knowing you're smarter than everyone else
1. Never wait on the curb for a green light to cross the street.
Alex K. Ross (P.S. 59, J.H.S. 167 (Wagner) and Dwight)
What about the coffee regular issue. Why don’t people know that means milk and 2 sugars? Some people think it means black. Reedick.
3 Tips on "A Being a Native New Yorker"... I dare you try them!!
As a NEW YORKER.. who knows his NYC history very well; and I did watch all the Ken Burn videos - My biggest pet peeve is an out of towners who says.. "Oh, you love in the outer boroughs?" They say this simply because their daddy's can afford to pay their high midtown rents. But if out of towners only knew their NYC history then they'd know about The Great Mistake of '98... (that would be 1898 - not 1998).. and they'd refer to Brooklyn, Queens and The Bronx with a little more respect (maybe even Staten Island too.. LOL) and they'd appreciate that if it wasn't for all 5 boroughs coming together that NYC would never have been the cosmopolitan city it is today and that Manhattan needed the other 4 boroughs more than the other boroughs needed Manhattan (except for Staten Island - LOL). So NYC is not just Manhattan.. it is all 5 boroughs! But, I don't expect out of towners to understand that.
Another tip, as a native New Yorker... HAGGLE - and this means for rent prices too. Yes, you can do it. As a New Yorker, if it wasn't for haggling.. my Mother would have never gotten her 3 bedroom 2 bathroom.. apartment - only 15 mins from midtown Manhattan.. for $1,450.00 a month.. and I would have never gotten my one bedroom apartment for $920.00 - And yes, this is 2008 prices and I got this apartment recently - and no, I won't tell you where my hood is because YOU, out of towners, will move here and raise my rent cause 1) you don't know what haggling is 2) you don't care if you raise our rents!! So, you can move to Astoria Queens (and pretend you are getting a deal - NOT!), you can go to Williamsburgh (the hipsters killed that part of Brooklyn), you can even live in the Lower East Side (and pretend you are NY'ers).. and I will gladly stay in my neighborhood, but I will never tell you where it is!! - Unless you learn how to haggle - but you have to prove that first. - Good Luck!!!
We understand crowds... so, when we ride Electric Stairs on the Subway.. we ride on the left side of the electric stair case only if we are walking otherwise, to prevent congestions, we move to the right of the staircase where we can stand and watch people rush past. It is annoying how many out of towners BLOCK the way.
1- You know what "salt-peppa-ketchup?" goes on.
2- You would rather walk a couple of miles to your pizza spot than order Domino's.
3- Your car is an inconvenience.
4- 1500 dollars for a one bedroom apartment is cheap.
THERE IS NO NORTH AND SOUTH. IT'S "UPTOWN" OR "DOWNTOWN." IF YOU'RE REALLY FROM NEW YORK YOU HAVE
YOU RIDE IN A SUBWAY CAR WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE SEATS AVAILABLE.
YOU TAKE THE TRAIN HOME AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE ON THE PLATFORM THE DOORS WILL OPEN THAT WILL LEAVE YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE EXIT STAIRWAY.
YOU KNOW WHAT A "REGULAR" COFFEE IS.
IT'S NOT MANHATTAN , IT'S THE "CITY."
YOU CROSS THE STREET ANYWHERE BUT ON THE CORNERS AND YOU YELL AT CARS FOR NOT RESPECTING YOUR RIGHT TO DO IT.
YOU MOVE 3,000 MILES AWAY, SPEND 10 YEARS LEARNING THE LOCAL LANGUAGE AND PEOPLE STILL KNOW YOU'RE FROM BROOKLYN OR THE BRONX THE MINUTE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
YOU RETURN AFTER 10 YEARS AND THE FIRST FOODS YOU WANT ARE A "REAL" PIZZA AND A "REAL" BAGEL.
A 500 SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT IS LARGE.
YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ALL THE DIFFERENT RAY'S PIZZAS.
YOU ARE NOT UNDER THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT ANY HUMAN BEING WOULD BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND A P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT ON THE SUBWAY.
YOU WOULDN'T BOTHER ORDERING PIZZA IN ANY OTHER CITY.
YOU GET READY TO ORDER DINNER EVERY NIGHT AND MUST CHOOSE FROM THE MAJOR FOOD GROUPS WHICH ARE: CHINESE,
YOU'RE NOT THE LEAST BIT INTERESTED IN GOING TO TIMES SQUARE ON NEW YEAR'S EVE.
YOUR INTERNAL CLOCK IS PERMANENTLY SET TO KNOW WHEN ALTERNATE SIDE OF THE STREET PARKING REGULATIONS ARE
YOU KNOW WHAT A BODEGA IS.
SOMEONE BUMPS INTO YOU, AND YOU CHECK FOR YOUR WALLET.
YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE THE LADY WALKING DOWN THE ROAD HAVING A PERFECTLY NORMAL CONVERSATION WITH HERSELF.
YOU PAY "ONLY" $230 A MONTH TO PARK YOUR CAR.
YOU CRINGE AT HEARING PEOPLE PRONOUNCE HOUSTON ST. LIKE THE CITY IN TEXAS .
THE PRESIDENTIAL VISIT IS A MAJOR TRAFFIC JAM, NOT AN HONOR.
YOU CAN NAP ON THE SUBWAY AND NEVER MISS YOUR STOP.
THE DELI GUY GIVES YOU A STRAW WITH ANY BEVERAGE YOU BUY.
YOU SEE A PERSON WALKING 5 OR 6 DOGS AT ONCE ... AND IT'S NORMAL .
THAT'S NEW YORK , BABY! YA GOTTA LOVE IT.
- No one reads the NY Post, except a Native New Yorker!
don't identify a subway line by its color, ie the "Green Line"...it's the 4, 5, 6
police officers are "cops"
yellow means speed up, and the blinking red hand means..well nothing really, just keep crossing
don't say y'all, say youse or formally, youse guys
hate either the Yankees or Mets, but not both...and be totally indifferent to the Islanders, Nets, and Devils.
First of all, after ordering the "slice", how you eat your pizza marks you as a native: you should NOT use a knife and fork, but hold the slice with a napkin, fold it in half and "mangia"!
And last but, certainly, not least, when someone is lost or needs help, real New Yorkers are quick to stop and help. For instance, we give directions and will whenever possible even start walking the person in the right direction or, if it's on the way to our own destination, will accompany them to make sure they get there and then go on our merry way. Natives are helpful and much more friendly than the false sterotypical image most people have of us - mostly due to the rude non-natives who think they have to be that way to get along in the Big Apple and appear "cool." Natives are already cool, we don't have to be rude to prove it! That's why most of us have what we call "Subway Friends" (strangers who are no longer really strangers we talk to on a regular basis because we take the same subway ride every day) -- but that is a whole 'nother story!
Julie Anna Alvarez
Do not be caught dead in the frozen food section buying frozen bagels. (I dont' even know if they sell frozen bagels in New York).
Say, "Hey you guys" whether they are male or female.
Watch out for doggy do. You don't want to be seen scraping your shoe on the curb.
Anonymous, Christ the King HS
Here are a few tips on how to pass for a native New Yorker:
Order coffee "regular"
Proudly boast that you've never set foot in a Wal-Mart
Learn to drive after you graduate college (or not at all, like myself)
Know better than to try and hail a cab that has its on-duty light off (or at around 5pm when the drivers change shifts)
A dead giveaway is when someone mentions going to Houston St. - said like the city. Uh, no. Save it for Texas. In NYC, it's HOW-ston, not HUE-ston!
My husband was not raised in NY, although he works there now. He'll tell me he's going to a meeting on Third Avenue and 53rd Street, and I think, dude: when the streets are numbered, it's street first, avenue second, and most times saying street and avenue aren't necessary. 53rd & 3rd are all that's required. Ask a cabbie.
Leian, Stuyvesant HS
If you know the term "Home Run" means: A hot dog with sauerkraut and onions from (the real) Papaya King,
Order a "regular" coffee. (It means some sugar, some milk. No lattes, no half decaf, etc...)
Go ahead, lean on the subway doors.
Never amble in Times Square.
his one is fading fast with the appearance of Starbucks all over the city but how 'bout ordering a "regular coffee" - translation: small coffee with milk and sugar from your local bodega or coffee shop/diner. I still do this out of habit but most of the time, I have to explain..
How to sound like a native: refer to a famous building by it's original name i.e. PanAm building, RCA Building, etc.
1) Calling the subways by their letter names (BMT, IRT, IND)
2) Being somewhere in the EV (or, in theory, Times Square, but I never ever hang out there) and saying, "This place was so much better when it was a crack den/parking lot/AA Meeting."
3) Knowing about the street markers on the posts in Central Park. I never knew about these and couldn't figure out why everyone who grew up next to the park was such a better navigator than I was until David (the fiance) told me. The intriguing part is how I still get lost every time I try to take the "shortest" route through the park (i.e., not precisely along a transverse). I need GPS.
4) is a joke: Having gone to HS with bar owners. I hope you have the next Magic Garden at Dusk because Sid is a friend of Dave's and I was never cool enough to hang out with him in high school, so Dave promised he'd come with me so Sid would have to talk to me.
Heidi Reich, Stuyvesant HS
Never walk on the two way streets (34th, 42nd, etc). always walk at least one block away to avoid the slow moving tourists.
Mike O’Brien - Stuyvesant
1) (An oldie...pretty common, but who knows, maybe nobody knows it anymore): Being able to fold a broadsheet periodical (e.g., the NY Times) so it can be read on the most crowded of subways.
2) Never, ever refer to 6th Avenue as "Avenue of the Americas" (Only possible exception to this rule: if you are addressing an envelope that is to be delivered by USPS or overnight courier service to a specific building on 6th Avenue that uses this term in its address.)
3) Never go out to pick up anybody under 50 years old upon their arrival at JFK/LGA/EWR (let them get to Manhattan on their own steam and meet them there, if necessary).
4) If you are in any outer borough and referring or headed to Manhattan, never use the word, "Manhattan." Instead, say, "the City."
5) Do not turn your head or acknowledge anyone shouting at you from a moving vehicle (more of a Brooklyn/Queens safety thing, really).
6) Do not get seduced by the private limo or gypsy drivers offering you rates and rides while you are on the hack line outside of airline terminals and hotels, no matter how long the line is. Yellow hacks are licensed, driven by honest people who are trying to make a living under difficult circumstances and whose services rise nearly to the level of public transportation. Support that!
7) Always tip yellow cab drivers 25%. Always.
8) REAL, NATIVE New Yorkers do not knowingly go further up the street to undercut (and steal an available taxi from) someone hailing a cab.
9) OUT-OF-TOWNERS, NEW ARRIVALS AND NYC WANNABEES IGNORE NUMBER 8 ABOVE AT YOUR OWN PERIL. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
10) Do not buy a buttered bagel-to-go from anyplace that gives it to you with a plastic knife and ice-cold, rock-hard, paper-wrapped tabs of butter. Instead, give yourself extra time to find an establishment that provides a proper bagel with a schmear, and patronize such establishment daily.
remember several different tokens (for those over 30)
Ouch I'm aging myself!!
I’d say knowing shortcuts between two points – especially in midtown Manhattan – that involve walking through office buildings. I think my Dad could walk from his office to his favorite lunch spot 4 blocks away on a rainy day barely stepping outside...
Jody Kuh (Dalton)
Here are my contributions for How to Pass as a Native New Yorker:
1. Order a hot dog from a street cart without saying what you're ordering: "gimme one with mustard". Not "one hot dog". "One." If you can't bring yourself to buy a hot dog from a street cart, then you should give up now and skip the rest of these tips. (Okay, okay, you get a dispensation if you're a vegetarian.)
2. (Brooklynites only.) Explain – at length, and with any excuse – that Prospect Park was created by Fredrick Law Olmstead and Calvert Vaux after they made Central Park, and that therefore, CLEARly – it is superior to Central Park in every way. They were just learning when they made that heap of dirt in Manhattan, but Prospect Park is their masterpiece.
3. Complain about how the city isn't like it used to be when you were younger. This is a true sign of a local. Now that you know to look for this, you will start noticing 8-year-olds complaining about how their playground just isn't the same these days.
"Thou Shalt Not"s.
1. Do not show interest in anyone on the street for any reason. Famous celebrity walking down the street buck naked with their hair on fire? Not interesting, because you've seen it all before.
2. Do not get in the way. If you need to stop on a sidewalk, bridge, etc., pull over to the side. This skill may take awhile to learn, but Native New Yorkers grew up around crowds and automatically get out of the way when they have to stop moving.
3. Do not ever – EVER! – order a slice of pizza "with cheese". It's a "plain slice," dammit. Cheese is a given. You don't order a slice "with bread" do you?
4. If you want to pretend to be from Manhattan, don't drive. In fact, don't talk about driving, or admit that you have a driver's license. If someone brings up the topic, look very defensive and slightly confused, and say that you really like public transportation.
walk fast on the sidewalks like you are going somewhere, move to the back of the bus and the center of the subway car (fer chrissakes people learn this stuff for the rest of us please). Roll your eyes if someone complains about how dirty the subway is, for natives it's far cleaner, brighter and less smelly than it has ever been in our lives. Keep to the basics with your bagel order, no blueberry cream cheese or sundried tomato bagels. Do not act gaga over Trader Joe's, in fact please shut up about Trader Joe's. Feign knowledge of the original (real) Balducci's instead. Get talking with your cab drivers, get into a real conversation with them about their lives, a lot of us grew up with our parents doing that in cabs and we still try to do it even though many of the drivers are on cell phones. In NY we generally have Intermediate School instead of Jr High, and we definitely refer to our grade and intermediate schools with PS and IS or JHS and the number, so if you want to fake it don't say you were in Junior High and pick a real numbered school.
How to pass as a native New Yorker...
WALKING 1)NEW YORKERS LOOK AROUND ALOT PLACING TELEGRAPHED BOUNDARIES FOR THEMSELVES AND OTHERS SOMETIMES IN SPLIT SECONDS, (MAKING US THE MOST SECRETLY CONSIDERATE,POLITE AND SELF DISIPLINED CITIZENS ON THE PLANET).
2)NEW YORKERS DON T GET IN PEOPLES WAY,IF SOMEONE GETS IN OUR WAY WE MIGHT SAY'' GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY.''
PARKING TICKETS -ALWAYS BITCH AT A PATROL COP,FOOT COP OR BROWNIE IF YOU SEE THEM WRITING YOU A TICKET,SOME GET RATTLED AND MAKE MISTAKES FILLING OUT THE TICKET SO YOU CAN GET IT OFF.
FREE TRANSPORTATION-ALTHOUGH I DON T RIDE ON THE REAR BUMPER CLINGING TO THE TAILLIGHT ON CITY BUSES ANYMORE(those models went out in 1981 I think)I DO STILL ''HOP'' THE ''TRAIN'' IF I NEED TO.SO SCAN FOR COPS,HOW ATTENTIVE THE TOKEN BOOTH ATTENDANT IS,WAIT FOR OTHER PEOPLE TO GO THROUGH THEN PULL THE TURNSTILE TOWARDS YOU AND PRETEND YOU HAVE HIPS LIKE MICK JAGGER AS YOU SLIDE YOUR BODY THROUGH IN ONE ,I REPEAT ONE SMOOTH MOTION.
BUYING MARIJUANNA-DON T LET NOBODY SELL YOU A DIME AND HAVE IT LOOK LIKE A TRAY BAG.
IF YOU BIKE IN THE CITY AND A CAR ,LIMO OR TAXI ENDANGERS YOU IT S OK (GOD GIVEN RIGHT)TO TERRORISE THEM VERBALLY ,KICK THEIR DOOR OR SLAM YOUR KRIPTONITE CHAIN ON THEIR HOOD.
IF YOU SEE A RAT ON THE STREET START TALKING ABOUT IT TO WHOEVERS AROUND BECAUSE IF THERE ARE OTHER NEW YORKERS AROUND THEY WILL
BE COMMENTING,I.E. DAMN THATS A BIG ONE-OR SHECK OUT THE BABY TOO OR WOW NO TAIL!-THIS CAN LAST FOR MINITES AND IS AN EXAMPLE OF HOW NEW YORKERS INSTANTLY REVEAL THEMSELVES WHEN THERE IS SOMETHING SO CITY CENTRIC THAT HAPPENS RANDOMLY THAT ONLY WE NATIVES CAN REACT INSTANTLY AND NATURALLY TO-NEWBIES DON T HAVE THOSE SYNAPSES IN PLACE.ALSO THE RAT ,(WHO IS A NEW YORKER RAT),GETS REALLY EMBARRASSED BY THE PEOPLE ATTENTION AND WILL ACT SHHEEPISH AND SLINK OFF.
LINUS CORAGGIO-M&A H.S.
Walk like you know where you're going; no sudden stops, looking up at the sky or clogging the sidewalk with five of your closest friends walking at a snail's pace.
Another sign of a born and bred NYer: knowing how to get from Point A to Point B without consulting any websites, maps or--dare I say it--stopping to ask someone (of course you're also the one that all other people somehow know to stop and ask directions, which you do with ease and confidence).
We native's must hold the fort here.
To get a cab, just raise your hand. The cab will come.
No need to look sheepishly around as though no one has ever done this before, or run over other pedestrians
- Natives tend to be master trekkers, not only walking long distances but knowing and using the shortest
-Natives are friendly! Not fake and saccharin but genuinely open to helping/talking to people.
-Natives have a good sense of humor and an appreciation of sarcasm.
-Natives are generally tolerant, but may not tolerate people who lack common sense.
-- even numbered streets generally run eastward and odd numbered streets generally run to the west (essential for directing cabbies
95% of even streets go east and odd streets go west.
Carla de Leon (PS 19, JHS104, Murray Bergtraum HS)
Tip #1: Stop paying the junkies. Only people from outta town give money to junkies. New Yorkers can tell the difference between the homeless and an addict. Homeless will take food, Junkies won't. Junkies also, well...look like junkies.
know when to hold breath on the street, depending on whom or what location you are walking(running) past.
I think a good quote would be that if you're over 40, and don't have a driver's license, or haven't driven a car in over 20 years, you're probably a native.
Subway Etiquette -- Only a true New Yorker knows how to get on and off the subway. As in waiting for passengers to get off before trying to get on.
When you get to the cash register (or the subway turnstile, or on the bus) – have your friggin’ money ready! Don’t THEN start rummaging for change or put your metro card in upside down.
Also – when you get the bottom or top of an escalator – keep moving, don’t stop and look for directions.
Finally, more than three people cannot hold hands on the street. (That’s for you, tourist families) Nobody is going to kidnap you.
Make sure to refer to the subways by their numbers not colors, i.e. avoid: "I think I take the orange line."
Abigail Levine (La Guardia '95)
Knowing it's twenty blocks to a north-south mile.
Knowing the correct postal abbreviation for Manhattan is NY, NY -- and not NYC, NY or any such nonsense.
Know what the G.O. is (for those who went to public high school, anyway)
Subway: When riding a local train, make sure to enter the station on the correct side of the street (Uptown/Downtown).
Bus: Have change or Metrocard. If Metrocard, please learn proper swipe direction.
The signs at crosswalks used to say, "Walk" and "Don't Walk" and were cooler than the symbols used now. When the red hand freezes, you've got 3 seconds to finish crossing before the light turns green and things get dicey.
The Bronx is up and The Battery's down.
Peter Lubell, Calhoun
I can tell you as someone who moved away for quite some time Jaywalking should definitely be on that list – no one in San Francisco does that and whenever I do they always trip, I tell them it’s the NY way!
Oh yeah. Flagrant j-walking!! Walk out into traffic while you wait for the light to turn green.
here's a tip -- NEVER EVER refer to subways by colors (i.e., the yellow line, the blue line, the red line). You are from Boston. Any self-respecting New York native knows that subways are designated by numbers and letters. If you're really old school, you actually refer to the trains as "the BMT," or the "IND," or the "8th Avenue local," but then you've probably also recently attended your 50th high school reunion.
Letting other people know where to stand on the platform in order to get to the right staircase or to make seamless transfers is akin to insider trading, and so I'll not say more on the subject.
Display the proper amount of bitterness about all the "improvements" being
Reminisce for the "good old days" when crime was rampant, stuff was fun, and
Remember what the old names of places are and be able to tell a funny story
Know the difference between a case quarter and a quarter
Memorize the MTA subway map, or at least most of the Manhattan one so you
Before people lined up to use the bathrooms at their local Starbucks or Barnes & Noble, a real NYer would know which floor to go to at Macy's at 34th Street to use the john, would know how to navigate through the building in Rockefeller Center to find the hidden bathroom in the bottom level or go in style at Sachs (as a former Fedex guy, you learn where all the good bathrooms are!)
Pre 9/11 The best way was to any bathroom was to go into any office building, take an elevator to any company's floor and pretend you were there to pick up
New Yorkers say Stand ON LINE, not IN Line
New Yorkers say the word AVENUE. It's not 5th Ave. It's 5th Avenue
New Yorkers say radiators (liked radical)
I'd like to expand on what anonymous wrote about the subway lines....
-Outside of the 5 boroughs, the entire rest of the State of New York is
-Real New Yorkers know that going to Liberty Island is a waste of money.
-This last one only applies to a certain generation, but to test if someone
Here are three
-You might remember that before The Daily News was "New York's Hometown Newspaper" it was "New York's Picture Newspaper"
-You periodically forget that baseball is not on free tv, and that firecrackers are illegal on chinese new year.
-Maybe this is just me, but when I am walking down the street and a cab honks at me, I stop him, and say "Don't honk at people. This is New York, not (fill in your favorite third-world city. Boston is a good one.)"
Also I disagree with *many* of the postings. Here are just three:
-I always hail Off-Duty cabs, many of them will stop and ask where you are going.
-New Yorkers, famous for being in a hurry, are the only people on the planet who do NOT understand that they should stand aside on the escalator. They treat it like a ride, and it infuriates me.
-Someone wrote never call the city "New York" cause that's the name of the state. I disagree. When people ask where I'm from I say "New York", period.
-KK, I.S. 34 and Stuyvesant HS '83
I read most of the posts, and didn't see any mention of growing up playing Johnny on the pony, scully, or stoop ball.
It is pronounced "LaGwadia" as in "LaGwadia airport"
A "Don't Walk" sign means "run!"
Women's handbags have a very sturdy strap that is worn across from one shoulder to the opposite hip. Never a clutch purse or a short handle bag that can be snatched easily. (For those of us who recall the 1970s in the city) I was using my NYC bag in Palermo where a man had the nerve to try and grab it. First he tried to pull down and break the strap which didn't break. He only succeeded in dragging me down the street until I could turn and punch him.
Actually, never carry credit cards in your handbag. Wear clothing with pockets.
Blueberry or raisin bagels? fuggedaboutit.
- Charlene Weisler
From PS81 through CCNY
And a NYC tour guide - forgive me
Natives will often use the word "already" as in "enough already" and "all right already"
3 card monty dealer and shills: hey that's incredible! (Shill counts and fans money he "won") Look at what I won! (lures in the mark)
Person from Conn/Missouri/fill in the blank: Wow! I am going to win money in this game with these people. They look a little dirty so how smart could they be? My dad went to Yale/MIT/fill in the blank so I am superior. Out of town mark loses all money, bursts into tears, calls mother, is rescued, questions their place in the universe, but only for 15 seconds, never returns
Native in same situation: "Fuck off"
Growing up in Harlem -- where I spent the first 15 years of my life before coming to the Upper West Side -- confers an additional layer of New York bona fides:
- Those three key avenues: Lenox, Seventh, and Eighth.
- Unnecessary prefixes: You shopped on '25th Street, because your crowd rarely left the hood anyway, so there was no need to say 125th Street.
- Play streets: Closed to traffic on certain days, where you could skate (steel, 4-wheelers that grabbed [and ruined] the soles of your shoes and required a skate key) from morning until night (or until your mother yelled out the window for you to "Get your butt in here right now, don't make me come down there and get you."), or play lodies, jump double-Dutch, play in the fire hydrant, or tear up and down on your home-made scooter (made from a wood crate, wood plank, and skate wheels, and decorated with bottle caps).
- What you drink: I rarely heard anyone ask for a shake -- outlanders, mostly. We asked for a "malt", which required a heaping teaspoon of a mysterious powder that made it what it was. It was mixed in a steel cup that connected to an electric mixer, and yielded AT LEAST three full glasses, enough to wash down a hamburger with "the works" and leave you too full to stand.
- Trains: Someone said "New Yorkers never say 'train'" but that's all we ever said -- and so did Duke Ellington, who bade us all to "Take the A Train".
- Vitals: When we ran out of milk we went -- or sent one of the kids -- to the "store" (or "sto") and everyone knew that meant the grocers.
- Directions: When we left Harlem, we went downtown. To get back home, we went uptown. And we took the train.
Linda Lopez -- St. Charles Borromeo (Harlem), St. Michael Academy (Hell's Kitchen)
You’re a True New Yorker if…..
You hung out with Superintendents’ kids.
You remember when Central Park was dangerous.
You know what Channel J was and why it was called that.
You used tokens for the train.
You used paper slips for bus transfers.
You remember when the buses had the wires to pull to signal a stop instead of the tape.
You knew to never ride the last car on the train, unless you were tough or knew some people in the crews who would stab you in the trains.
You knew to never ride the G or E trains, unless (again) you were tough or knew some people in the crews who would stab you in the trains.
You have pissed in train stations.
You have pissed in many public places.
You know not to fuck with people from Hell’s Kitchen.
You remember that Chelsea Piers and the surrounding areas were perfect spots
You try your best not to buy Starbucks and when you do, you order by saying, “Give me THAT coffee in THAT cup (point to them). No, I don’t know what a venti is. Just give me a coffee!”
You have smoked in movie theatres after it was banned.
You used to smoke weed in the meadow before and during the time when police helicopters would circle the area. If you never smoked, at least have been there with others who did.
You would get fucked with by the police even if you were innocent.
You partied in underground clubs by the time you were 16.
You played sports in the middle of the streets.
You played sports on the sidewalks.
You rode your bike on the sidewalk. (This does not include today’s Chinese restaurant delivery men).
You could tell where someone was from in the city by their accent.
You never heard of Subway, Duane Reade, Starbucks, etc until the late 90’s.
You used to play arcades in the back of news store.
You realize what a mistake it was to elect Dinkins.
You were asked if you wanted to fuck as a 8 year old by prostitutes dressed in bikinis and high heels (I kid you not) in Times Square and/or 28 Street and Lex area.
You were asked if you wanted to buy smoke or other drugs at the Meadow, Washington Square Park, Time Sqaure, and pretty much all over.
You remember the 80’s when you would see someone running at top speed with a bag or something.
You were friends with at least one bum.
You called bums, bums. No other term applied.
You and your friends had nicknames for bums.
A bum offered to kill someone for you.
You would take bets with your friends every time you saw a brand new white garbage truck. The bet would be “ Yo, how long before that truck gets bombed (graffiti)?”
You remember when the whole city was covered with graffiti. (Subways-in and out, Buses-in and out, Homes, Buildings, Bridges, Mailboxes, Walls, Cabs- inside, Garbage Trucks, Parking Poles, Parking meters, etc etc.
You could name a graf writer even if you were never involved with graffiti.
You knew which spots were weed spots even though they had a “business” front.
You could spot a DT car.
You’ve had worthless discussions with nighttime doormen.
You had Mamoun’s falafel before 2004 (when they were good---the best actually)
You remember Catch a Rising Star.
You remember MTV’s Remote Control was on the Upper East Side.
You know what The United Negro Pizza Fund was.
You told the weird guy who was following you to “Go Fuck Your Mother!”
You would meet up with your friends at either a stoop, a corner, or at a landmark, which you never really cared that it was a landmark.
You know where the Punisher was.
You know what a loosie was.
You rode a checkered cab.
You used to smoke in a cab.
You used to hop on and off the bus illegally from the back door. Or at least knew someone who did.
You watched Public Access and thought it was normal.
You know who Al Goldstein was, remember his interviews, and his criticisms of certain establishments or companies.
You refer to immigrant store owners as “My Friend”.
You remember and know why there were the “No Radio in Car” signs.
You hear “Crown Heights” and automatically think “Racial Tension”.
You remember the Squeegee men. (That started in New York, by the way)
You remember that it was awful to walk through the tunnel underneath the 59th Street Bridge.
You remember that people actually acted differently from different neighborhoods, even in Manhattan and even if it was not an ethnic neighborhood.
You remember the Cost and Revs phenomena.
You have been around for or involved in a fight in a pizzeria.
You remember driving down Lex and noticing the sharp differences as the buildings went from shitty to nice right at 96th Street.
You would recoil in fear when you heard the words, “The Bowery”. My father would threaten to leave me there if I continued to act up.
You remember when Little Italy in Manhattan, Bensonhurst, and the Bronx were bigger and actually had Italians living there.
You know where the Ravenite Club was.
You know where the Palladium was.
You know where the Limelight was.
You remember OUR Zodiac Killer, not San Francisco’s.
You know where Robert Chambers killed Jennifer Levin in Central Park.
You know where Daphne Abdela (who went to my school) and Chris Vasquez (I went to school with his sister) killed Michael Morrow in Central Park.
You drank Quarter Waters.
You hated to go to the beach because you were disgusted by the bottles, syringes, and condoms in the ocean water.
You remember when South Street Seaport smelled like fish.
You remember the Fulton Fish Market Fire.
You were aware of the possibility of being mugged as an adult by 16 year old kids.
You at least know where CBGB’s was.
You look at all these nice new places and buildings and remember how ugly it used to be and all the crimes that happened at these places. AND part of you misses that.
You have or at least have seen someone put a brown paper bag with “Broken” written on it on a meter. OR have used a tin garbage can to put over the fire hydrant so you can park.
You know where the “Crack is Wack” mural is and who did it.
You know that the best basketball is played at the 4th Street Courts in the Village.
You saw Eliot running in leotard in the streets before he was famous on Howard Stern.
You knew an Albanian.
You can name obscure parts of the city from scenes in films.
You bought pizza from the window of a pizzeria.
You have had discussions with people from 20 different nationalities in languages you made up as you went along.
You at least knew where B. Altman’s was.
You remember the ugly yellow NY State License plates.
You remember the street signs were yellow not green.
You know what Loisaida means.
You never noticed you were a New Yorker until you left.
GIANLUCA’s SIDE NOTE:
Here are a few that seem to be missing.
You walked past Lisa Steinberg's house over and over . . . before the news story came out.
You are a true native when the local deli/bodega guys will unlock the door for you in the middle of the night while making everyone else yell their order through the bullet-proof lucite window.
You know that every deli/bodega will sell you "loosies" (single cigs).
You say things like "She thinks who she is" and call people "Toots," (rhymes with "books") which also can be a verb, as in "She was all tootsed up" (overly glamorous).
You ALWAYS have a Plan B. And C. They're automatically there at the back of your mind.
You can accomplish more on your lunch hour than other people do all day.
When you were a kid, while your out-of-town friends were "carded" at bars, you were "proofed."
You have furnished an entire apartment with stuff off the street.
If you live in an outer borough, you'll patronize the grocery store you don't like just because it's next to the dry cleaner you do like, just so you don't have to look for another parking space.
You use a granny cart like a minivan.
You have a favorite bum. You always give him/her money no matter how broke you are. You worry if you don't see him/her for a few days. You give your bums nicknames.
You had several close friends as a child whose names, if they were not actually in your class, you never learned how to spell.
You travel elsewhere in the US and marvel "Wow, look at all the white people!"
~Jude M., PS 3Q, Halsey JHS (157Q), Forest Hills HS, York College (CUNY).
--I can't believe no one else submitted this but I always thought a definite sign that someone is a native New Yorker (women mostly) is if they always have their keys out before they reach their door. I don't know of anyone who waits to get to their door and then starts looking through her bag or pockets to find her keys.
--Also, when New Yorkers break the law, they either get tickets or they get a summons. They do NOT get written up (something I've been hearing a lot of lately, kids getting "written up"). Rowdy college students get written up, New Yorkers get a summons.
--The only time a real New Yorker doesn't stand off the curb and instead stands a foot or so back onto the sidewalk is when its raining or if it snowed a few days earlier because they know the closer they are the cars, the more slush and gross water is going to get sprayed onto them. For once, they will allow the tourists and transplants to stand in front of them, because they'll act as a shield from the nasty spray.
--Real New Yorkers stay away from Thompson Square Park at night.
--Real New Yorkers always think their borough is the best, no matter which of the five they come from.
Hope these are true for everyone cuz they sure are true for me!
LaGuardia HS, 2003
Real New Yorkers do not leave the city to "go home" for Thanksgiving.
(St. David's School '92)
Seems most of the tips have been covered so here are some hopes I've had for our beloved city:
Lanes on the sidewalks
Inside (shop windows) for tourists making sudden stops
Middle for passing and/or slower walkers but NO stopping
Outside (closest to curb) Natives Only
That we would evolve to have brake lights in our asses.
Only permissible umbrellas (to be handed out/exchanged) at all B&T x-ings - clear, mushroom-style that cover yourself and yourself only.
Some of us old-time New Yorkers have never had a driver's license-have token (metrocard), will travel.
Get verbally ethnic. Every New Yorker should have in their lexicon at least a dozen Yiddish words.
native ny-er tip.
alternate side parking tip-
in impossible cuthroat crowed parking neighborhoods like the west village or random east side midtown slivers of side streets where a car (still) "only" has to be moved twice a week-you can cut down your stress a little by not jut sitting illegally in your car during alt-side craning your head around every 2 minutes for the
parking gestoppo because you expect to get hassled but rather make good use of the time by trying to read or make some cellphone calls and realize you just have to dart your car to the other side when and if you hear the the street sweeper coming. As long as you are in your car you can only be told to move,you can't get a ticket otherwise. Although i did get quietly rolled up by a brownie van in 1997 in chelsea and they came out with pens blazing, but that predatory attitude is rare and can be adjudicated realitively easily.
its dangerous but quick.
you gotta lane split (ride between lanes in traffic) to keep the forward flow sometimes,but since it's illegal outside calif. don t let cops see you.
don't get doored.
don't get sqeezed over when you are alongside but slightly behind a cars passenger side where they cant see you.
beware of nature even in nyc, i once went down on the 96th st enterance to the west side highway because i never expected a pile of blown wet leaves to be on the curve of the ramp.
never take the FDR for granted,its like the hellgate in a boat,full of odd currents of flow. specifically, the fdr has some bizarre lane path jumps in it's overall straightness,especially at night when your speed may vary and even knowing the road like the back of your hand can fuck you because of shitty
lighting that seems different every time and going different speeds in different weather. Also traffic speed can change in split seconds at random times from everybody doing a brisk 50 mph plus to a sudden 25 mile ooze. Don t get caught in a panic stop to slow down.
if you park with your license plate off to not get a ticket,cover up your vin #, (which is stamped into the frame) with oily crud or epoxy. the brownies know to look and thats how the get you.
know where ever you park you can get knocked over anytime by someone backing into you.
what out for wind, potholes and cop's hot air.
*When I left the City for SUNY college I said I came from New York. Other students said, Yeah, but what part? I replied, New York, that's what part.
*While I lived in Columbus Ohio briefly, and worked at a Barnes and Noble, I would walk down the aisles faster than anyone. One day, I was helping a very tall man (like six foot eight) find a book and he was impressed by how I was able to keep up with him.
*I learned to drive when I was in Ohio. I was 29.
*I lived in an SRO the size of a large closet on the UWS with another person for 5 years.
*While in Ohio I would eat my lunch while walking. My friends, who could eat their lunch while driving (!), were unable to walk with food in their mouths.
*I say my mind, I mean what I say.
In a nutshell: to be a Native you must be blunt, efficient, adaptable, compact, good on your feet, opinionated.
Sandra (Corlears, Little Red, Elizabeth Irwin, M&A)
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